Since Birth

So apparently I was born chubby. I learned this when upon my first attempt at Jenny Craig, while filling out the required initial paper work, the form asked, "How long have you been overweight?". I somewhat sarcastically and somewhat honestly answered, "since birth".

I was about 16 at the time and my mom was sitting next to me. I'd asked to join Jenny Craig as a birthday or Christmas gift, I don't remember which. This was not my first "weight loss gift". I'd used my birthdays and Christmases in the past to acquire treadmills, gym memberships, work-out videos, etc. I've been supporting the 60 billion dollar diet industry since I was about 10 years old when I came to my mom in tears about something some kid had said about my weight, and my very well-meaning, problem-solving, mother suggested perhaps we look into Nutri-system. The poor woman was just going with what she knew... if one is unhappy with their weight, one goes on a diet. Makes perfect sense, right? What else would you do? I remember crying when she said it. There was a shame then, just as there always has been, in having to go on a diet. It's weird. I've felt shame for "needing" to go on a diet, shame for being on one and shame for not going on one. Basically, I've lived in a constant state of shame no matter what I'm doing or not doing.

So we were escorted back by my new weight counselor (she even had on a white coat...the Jenny Craig employee uniform)to the scales and then into a small office where she would conduct an interview. I was always so annoyed that the Jenny Craig counselors may or may not have lost weight themselves. Anyway, she read the "since birth" part and the three of us chuckled a bit. My mom later told me, that a pediatrician had told her when I was only a few months old that I needed to be put on some kind of baby diet. I guess they don't do this kind of thing anymore but regardless, I've been dieting since the very beginning of my life. It's ALWAYS been an issue, even before I had the mental capacity to know it was an issue and choose a course of action, the choice to diet was being made for me.

I always thought babies were supposed to be chubby.

Does anyone else have stories like this or thoughts about how your body image was shaped at a young age, good or bad? I would love to hear the good especially since I want to pass on the good stuff!